MY ABILITY TO RUN

My ability to run away from everything scares me. And still am not quite sure if I wanna be stopped. This year meant nothing but chaos so far and I am not sure where to go from here. Where do you go once you confronted yourself with questions that long to be answered but the answer never comes... instead you wait... 
I feel like I am totally depleted... I need the kind of love no human can give me. I need the kind of love that looks at me and understands the gravity of things I am going through. I am not quite sure if this kind of love actually exists...

I am starting to realize once again that people are weak. They long for attention. For the number of likes and followers. For empty words and approval. I feel like we are a lost generation who started to confuse attention with love. And that's what I did myself. I was fooling myself to think that there are no consequences. That I can be around fire without getting burned but I never considered the fact that I won't be able to escape the smoke  . People will influence your mind. And even if the essence of who you are is made of a different kind of wood, their thoughts will still smoke your mind, feelings and actions.

I am not sure if I am ready to stop running. But I am deathly afraid of falling short if I do so. Afraid of life sparkling in my eyes once again just to slip through my hands for one last time. I am stuck in between worlds and I am almost ready to stop. Just give me a reason why I should. Just remind my heart once again that there is no reason to be afraid.