ALMOSTS| 

midnight pondering poetry

Some days feel like I can forget how it felt to be held by you
where I don't remember the look in your eyes when you took my hand and shared a piece of your precious heart with me. My heart is heavy, my mind is busy. And just when I thought I could make myself forget, the feelings rush back in waves.

when I least expect it
they crash down on me,
releasing the grieve,  the ever-present feeling of your absence
they keep me save
flush my heart and burn my breath
chase me into peace
 

there was never anyone else who came even close to what you meant to me
not a heart that I cherish like yours
not a soul my heart is refusing to end waiting for
except yours

you were the only exception
and days like this leave me wondering
about the what-ifs
the could-haves...
when the smell of your perfume leaves a lump in my throat
and flushes my mind with regret

HAPPY PLACE

TRAVEL POSTS

Happy place. I feel home when I am detached from everything I know.  When I turn my eyes away from the noise that surrounds me- which is quite hard to do when waves are crashing all around you-things can look peaceful again.  And falling apart starts looking a little bit more like falling into place.

dear Heart. 

Don't hold back. Learn to loose it all.

Dear heart, learn to lose it all. Don’t hold back the insanity of being an endless history... eternally wandering on the search for life and beauty. Barely hanging on to hope and the path filled with doubts. You can look at those cracks and feel all this pain. Let the rain of tears heal all your fears and stain your soul with truth. The truth that everything that is happening right now still is a part of your story and it still is worth being told. Like all stories, dark chapters will make sense the moment they are flooded with love. It is going to be worth it

i am a stranger. 
Lost in thoughts and dreams. 
falling into myself
breaks the connection I have with this world.

The talks
the acting
it all falls apart
when I close my eyes
and listen to my heart of hearts.

When hope whispers to the darkest of nights.
That my journey is a journey of hope and wonder
that this is not a way that ends in despair

but despair is ending when darkness surfaces
and fear greets you with the kiss of hurt you pushed down far too long.

There is no darkness in the night.
It is not surfacing to destroy you but to lead you home.