Facing the chaos these last years left behind is a very hard thing to do. I would love to say that I learned something ... and indeed I sure did ...but I still feel like the damage was not worth it. Even when I learned more about what love really is and what it means to see a person's heart in the light of grace ...and understanding that it is not your fault they treated you poorly ... and you can love without losing yourself because true love also means peace with your true self. -it still feels like it was a brutal attack on the very core of the person that I am ... I just started to like this heart that I am when everything forced me to go against myself. A part of me still thinks that I am not strong enough. I do believe that under attack we sometimes learn to protect ourselves and build healthy boundaries so that others stop walking all over our garden and destroy the fragile plants that haven’t been there long enough to hold on to existence in this exposed world  and breath the very thing that makes them feel alive... truth, forgiveness, grace ... love. The path of loving yourself. But being the gardener and protector of your soul is tiring when you forget that this fragile flower you are shielding, is you. You are made to breathe and rest. You are made to feel and unveil all your fears and doubts in the presence of true love....

You are a home that has been turned into a war zone. And even though everything happened for a reason that you do not fully understand yet, it is time to come home. Come home and win the very heart back, that you distanced yourself from - yourself.